Things I never thought I'd say until I became a mother

I don't want your booger.

I don't want your boogers in my hair!

I get to eat chocolate because I pooped on the potty. 

Daddy doesn't want you to tell everyone he went poopy.

Don't touch your poop! Keep your hands out of your diaper!

Thank you for saying please, but I don't think the cat is going to do what you want.